elvenenchantress

Sh*t Evgeni Malkin does:

lazyandg:

  • Decides to buy Alien/Predator sculptures in Dubai and have them shipped to Pittsburgh to guard his driveway

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  • Puts a scarf on the sculptures when it snows

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  • Wears rocket shoes over the sea

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  • Cuddles lions

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  • Gets kissed by dolphins

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  • Takes a polar bear selfie

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  • Swims with a whale shark

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  • Dresses like a sultan while in the Burj al Arab in Dubai

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  • Flexes while wearing just a towel and being pelted by sprinklers (also at the Burj al Arab in Dubai)

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  • Tours bunkers of former communist Soviet leaders

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  • Takes photos with the Stanley Cup….while using a urinal

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  • Catches a hammerhead shark….then has it stuffed

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  • Paints teddy bears

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  • Takes photos mocking drunk friends

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  • Dresses like this 

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  • And this 

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  • Pretends to be a sculpture

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  • Plays with actual sculptures

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  • Shoots large guns

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  • Visits bath houses (complete with authentic Russian hat)

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  • Embarrasses himself in front of dignitaries

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  • Falls asleep in flower beds

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  • Beats up small children

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  • Takes selfies with the goal cam

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  • Plays himself in odd Russian movies

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  • Wears 4 sets of pool floaties simultaneously

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  • Has a crystal Stanley Cup

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  • Wears eyeball glasses

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  • Hangs from the guns of tanks

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  • Thinks everyone looks better with his face

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  • Owns Halloween

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  • Wins

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unitedstatesofkessel
joatamon:


Proving his talents aren’t limited to the ice, Phil Kessel finished second in the NHL Alumni Charity Poker Tournament presented by PokerStars.net, beating out top poker talent and NHL Alumni to claim a share of the $100,000 charity prize-pool.
Kessel will donate the $15,000 second place prize to SickKids Foundation, and will add $15,000 of his own money to make a total donation of $30,000.
[x]

I was not even a little bit prepared for this photograph. Jesus.

joatamon:

Proving his talents aren’t limited to the ice, Phil Kessel finished second in the NHL Alumni Charity Poker Tournament presented by PokerStars.net, beating out top poker talent and NHL Alumni to claim a share of the $100,000 charity prize-pool.

Kessel will donate the $15,000 second place prize to SickKids Foundation, and will add $15,000 of his own money to make a total donation of $30,000.

[x]

I was not even a little bit prepared for this photograph. Jesus.